Neither the apocalyptic movies nor the best marriage coaches prepared couples to live seven days a week, 24 hours a day. But the global pandemic itself is forcing many to change their routines. Until a few weeks ago, a couple shared a few hours in the morning and others at night. The rest passed between working hours, children, and errands. Some even dreamed of spending more time with their better half.
These days the world is upside down, and lovers face a challenge: to be alone for a long time, without any hiding place and without arguments arising. Many cry out for a marriage survival guide for this juncture. With the advice of several experts, we gather golden rules to overcome the difficulties of living in quarantine.
Before the closure, everyone had a more or less established schedule. They ate breakfast with their partner and then went out for work or did various activities independently. With isolation, they should do that under the gaze of the other. For most, it will not be a problem, but there are those who will suffer more because they hide things from their partner, such as smoking on the sly. Experts advise against giving up on those secrets. Such actions must be abandoned altogether or confessed.
Most couples are already confident enough to know what the other looks like as soon as they get up or without shaving. But carelessness must not be allowed to spiral out of control. It is essential to shower and dress every day, “because one part of the attraction is related to the fact that we look cute to the other,” says couple psychologist Viviana Cabrera. In addition, continuing with these routines awakens the brain and makes everyone feel well.
Sharing the same space all day will increase discussions and subtle differences, because “in those moments where we don’t need each other, for any wrong fork we get angry,” explains Cabrera. In order to avoid unnecessary conflicts, he recommends solving the privacy problem immediately by distributing spaces, such as the living room or the study, for each one. “You don’t have to overload yourself with the other. They must have space alone and be alone at breakfast, lunch, or breaks,” explains Cabrera.
Spending more time with the other can lead him to recognize the routines and attitudes that he did not know and want to control them. These are some examples.
– ‘What are you doing?’ It may be the question that results when one of the two enters the bathroom and does not leave for 20 minutes. It was normal to do it when they were late for an engagement, but now, isolated, it is unnecessarily intrusive.
– With so much free time, some may be curious to skim through their partner’s text messages. A gross mistake, as this could generate a reason for discussion that escalates with the days, and nobody wants to worsen the quarantine tension.